He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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