All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
