Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
