He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That accounts for only three of the penises
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
