You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
