if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
