he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I bet he comes in French.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
