hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
