I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
