u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
