what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
