I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
