i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
