so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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