I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
