Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
