Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
