i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he puts the penis in happiness.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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