no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
