he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
