Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
