So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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