we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize