I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
