I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
