Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
