I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
