I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
