pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
