This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
