you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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