What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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