your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
