Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
