the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize