doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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