Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
