You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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