i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
