What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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