just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
