i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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