I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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