We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
