ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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