This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
