my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
