It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
