I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize