so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize