Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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