If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
