I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
