Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
