I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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