you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sober January is a disaster.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize