I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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