i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
