Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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