Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize