one might say we're banned from that church
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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