New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
