whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
