Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
