good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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