break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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