What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
