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• (213): View more from California

  she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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• (631): View more from New York

  i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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• (925): View more from California

  We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.

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