I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
