i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just pee around me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
