Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
