Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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