This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
