Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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